Tag Archive: Jason Statham

Jul 28

Spy

Like a lot of people, I am beginning to mistrust Paul Feig and Melissa McCarthy. Paul Feig did give us Bridesmaids, sure, but The Heat didn’t feel right with me. He also has his strange obsession with McCarthy, so when it was announced he would do a Ghostbusters reboot, it was obvious he would be …

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Apr 22

Furious 7

FAST FAST FAST. Nope. Too slow. Now you are just Furious 7. Look down. Look up again. You are Vin Diesel upset that Chuck Norris stole all of your internet jokes. Look at my hand. It is full of movies. THINK AGAIN. Just odd numbered Fast and Furious movies! Blah blah blah. I have said …

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Aug 14

The Expendables 3

Ah, a third movie. The Expendables 3 was rocked with “controversy” a few weeks before its release by having an actual good copy of it released on the internet. DVD or better scan, all the effects in, everything. Not a shitty cam copy. Well, in a day it had over 100,000 downloads, and by now …

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Permanent link to this article: https://gorgview.com/the-expendables-3

Dec 02

Homefront

I can’t believe I almost forgot about Homefront! Maybe because it doesn’t feel like a holiday movie? No idea. But this was the last movie I had on my mind when I went to go see movies coming out before Thanksgiving. I guess what I am really saying is that a Red Dawn remake made …

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Permanent link to this article: https://gorgview.com/homefront

Feb 01

Parker

I miss sexy movie titles. Just a last name (or even a full name) are boring titles. They don’t even say anything about the movie unless you already know the character they are based on. Parker is actually not the first time this character has been in film. At least five other movies have featured Parker …

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Permanent link to this article: https://gorgview.com/parker

Nov 02

The Expendables 2

Good news everyone. There are only 13 tagged actors for this movie, and one of them is actually a woman. Crazy, right? Obviously, The Expendables 2 is a sequel to The Expendables, which I forever have disliked because it came out the same day as Scott Pilgrim. Insert dead horse joke. The crew is basically …

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Permanent link to this article: https://gorgview.com/the-expendables-2

Feb 11

The Mechanic

Remake alert! Did anyone even know that? Did anyone even care that The Mechanic was a 1972 film? I know I don’t. Back to the violence, please. I am cutting my original joke, because this screen shot from the movie is hilarious. What is a mechanic? If you answer a guy who fixes shit, that …

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Permanent link to this article: https://gorgview.com/the-mechanic

Jan 07

Killer Elite

Killer Elite is based on a “True story”. Or an alleged true story. The Feather Men, a novel that came out in 1991 by some “British Adventurer” telling the story of a group of killers called The Clinic. That is all Wiki told me however, and I don’t think I heard “The Clinic” at all …

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Permanent link to this article: https://gorgview.com/killer-elite

Dec 28

The Expendables

It has taken me a long time to watch The Expendables, mostly because it and Eat, Pray, Love came out on the same day as Scott Pilgrim vs The World in theaters. Both of which did better in the box office, despite my fanboyism declaring that SP was clearly the best movie. So, in order …

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Permanent link to this article: https://gorgview.com/the-expendables

Dec 21

Gnomeo and Juliet

Thanks to Wall-E, people realized that all “kids movies” didn’t have to be dumbed down or feature only “lesser” humor. But guess what? Those movies are the easiest to make. Not in terms of work on CGI and what not, that can take forever, yes. But in terms of an interesting plot or comedy? Don’t …

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Permanent link to this article: https://gorgview.com/gnomeo-and-juliet

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