Aug 31
I have beard envy. So one of the main reasons I find myself willing to watch a movie is if a main character, male or female, has excellent facial hair. I barely know how to shave, let alone make my beard grow to any great and professional level. It is why I wanted to even …
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Aug 28
I feel like I am constantly fighting a losing battle. Right now I only go to one pre-screening a week (two if a special occasion) and rarely see new things in theaters, unless I have a super strong desire. It seems like when given a choice every week, I will end up picking the serious …
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Permanent link to this article: https://gorgview.com/hot-pursuit
Aug 27
I miss Chris Farley. I don’t know a single person, outside of future review comment trolls, who hated the guy. He had some of the best sketches on SNL, was always full of energy. Sure, his movies are hit and miss. Sometimes terrible. But they helped elevate David Spade way more than he could on …
Permanent link to this article: https://gorgview.com/i-am-chris-farley
Aug 25
Owen Wilson. Action Thriller. Owen Wilson. Action Thriller. No matter how many times I say it, I cannot picture this man seriously in an action thriller. My mind cannot wrap itself around that concept. It just doesn’t make sense. Owen Wilson and comedy? Sure, that is pretty standard. Owen Wilson and slightly dramatic/romantic roles? He …
Permanent link to this article: https://gorgview.com/no-escape
Aug 25
It has been awhile since I have seen a film set mostly in Hawaii. Godzilla, Big Eyes, Battleship all had elements in Hawaii. But the last full on Hawaiian film was The Descendants and it was really fucking good. So if I compare all films set in Hawaii, Aloha has to have some pretty big …
Permanent link to this article: https://gorgview.com/aloha
Aug 23
Back in 2012, there were a lot of shitty horror movies. In fact, The Apparition, The Possession, and The Devil Inside would have all made my worst of the year lists if I did them back then. But there was some hope. We received Sinister. Sure I only gave it a 3 out of 4, …
Permanent link to this article: https://gorgview.com/sinister-2
Aug 20
I don’t know a lot about American Ultra. I do know that it has some nice buzz words to get more butts in the seats though. A lot of big movies have American in the title now. American Sniper destroyed the box office, so people really love American shit. Then we have American Beauty, American …
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Aug 20
I’d like to think I can keep a secret. Unless it is any form of gossip. If I hear about gossip, I will most definitely pass it on to somebody. Everyone knows that if you tell something to a married person, their spouse gets auto-dibs on the secret anyways. Best Kept Secret is a documentary …
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Aug 19
I don’t think we need a fucking introduction for Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! But if I did, I would probably just point you towards Sharknado, Sharknado 2: The Second One, and remake the same joke about Cory Monteith’s last two tweets. That is, if I was doing an intro, of course. If this review …
Permanent link to this article: https://gorgview.com/sharknado-3-oh-hell-no
Aug 18
2015 has been a weak ass year for musicals. Basically we have a film or two that feature Anna Kendrick singing, a shitty terrible no good animated jukebox musical, and a made for TV mess. And the future doesn’t look bright either. So I was a bit excited to hear about Lucky Stiff, a musical …
Permanent link to this article: https://gorgview.com/lucky-stiff
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